All the Girls Love Sam
by Dorus the Walrus
Summary: You're such a girl." Dean told Sam. He had no idea how right he was. No wincest, no romance.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note – Yeah, you can only hear Dean refer to Sam as a girl so many times before you end up writing this. Again, no Wincest, no romance of any kind, just a little fic laughing at Sam's expense. It's set early in the series. Enjoy!

**All the Girls Love Sam**

Sam scowled as he scanned the news reports on his laptop. He was holed up in a deserted diner, sheltered from the raging wind outside, doing research for the latest hunt. He and Dean came to the small, coastal New England town when they had first heard about the half-eaten corpses that were appearing all over town. So far, there wasn't much for Sam to go on. Any number of demons could have killed and devoured the victims, and the victims themselves didn't give the Winchester brothers any clues. So far, the only they had in common was that they were all male. _I hope Dean is having better luck than I am_, Sam thought.

"Anything that I can get you?"

Sam nearly jumped out of his seat. He had been so engrossed in his research that he hadn't even heard the waitress approach. _Oh, real smooth Sam, and you're supposed to be a hunter?_ Sam winced inwardly as he thought, _Just be glad Dean didn't see that_.

Sam glanced up at the girl who was holding a coffeepot in her hand, looking at him expectantly. He hadn't noticed her when he came in. In fact, he thought he had been alone aside from the owner, a large, angry-looking woman who suspiciously reminded Sam of every single lunchlady he had ever had in school. Sam glanced at her nametag, 'Lorelei' it read.

"Um… yeah, a cup of coffee would be nice." Sam finally said, giving her a small smile before turning back to his computer.

"Been in town long?"

Sam sighed inwardly. She wanted _talk_. Too bad Dean wasn't here. He'd be soaking up the attention. In a strange way, Sam was kind of grateful that Dean always flirted with the girls. It meant that _he_ didn't have to. He hadn't been able to since Jess…

"No, just arrived today." Sam said as he watched her slid into the booth across from him.

"Oh, well I would love to show you the sights." She said, propping her arms onto the table in such a way to make sure that Sam noticed her cleavage.

"That's… that's very nice of you, but I won't be staying for long." Sam noticed that his reply actually seemed to surprise her.

"You know, when I said 'show you the sights', I meant-" She began.

"I know what you meant." Sam interrupted in an attempt to stop her from going any further. This was definitely _not_ a conversation he wanted to get into.

Suddenly, she gave him a slow, sweet smile. "You're not like most guys, you know?" She said. "Most men are shallow, evil creatures whose sole purpose in life is to lust after women, but not you."

"Uh, thank you?"

She suddenly reached out and touched his hand. "You're special. You're not like other men. It's almost like you're one of the girls."

Sam felt a rough arm suddenly wrap around his shoulder. "Yeah, that's our little Samantha all right. It's all slumber parties and training bras for her."

Sam groaned out loud while Dean just grinned at him. Sam had a feeling that he was not going to hear the end of this one for quite some time. "Come on, Sammy. Time to go." Sam quickly closed his computer and followed his brother out of the diner, rubbing his hand against his jeans as he did. For some reason, it felt strangely numb.

SDSDSDSD

Sam slowly blinked his eyes open as all of the strange and disgusting smells that seem to permeate throughout their cheap motel room flooded his nose. A whole day of investigating and he and Dean were still at square one. He yawned and closed his eyes again, knowing that Dean probably wouldn't be up for another hour. He had spent most of the night at some local bar, too irritated and antsy about the way this hunt was going to stay inside the motel.

"Well, well, well, it looks like somebody had a good time last night."

What the hell was Dean going on about? Sam opened his eyes again and glared at his brother. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Dean, especially when he's being weird.

Sam's glare seemed to have no effect, however, as Dean merely threw his arms up and laughed. "Hey, Sam!" Dean suddenly called out, as though his brother was somewhere far away and not lying in the bed in front of him. "You better hurry up and get out of the bathroom. I think your girlfriend's about to have a hissy fit."

Sam sat up straight in the bed, scowling at his older brother. "What the hell are you talking… about…" Sam trailed off as he heard himself speak. He just spoke with a girl's voice. He looked down. He had a girl's body. Panic flooded every fiber of Sam's body as he stared at his brother, stricken. "DEAN!" She yelled, wincing at the high screech she had just emitted. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Sam watched as Dean's face went through a myriad of emotions. First confusion, then understanding, next came horror, panic, worry, and anger.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Dean yelled.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Sam yelled back.

"Well, obviously you did something." Dean snapped. "You're a freakin' _girl_, Sam. What the fuck?!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!" Sam screeched, feeling tears well up in her eyes. _Great_, she thought, _I'm a girl and I'm CRYING!_

Dean grabbed his jacket; he was still wearing the clothes he had on the day before. "I… I need to be somewhere… that's… away…. Stay here… and don't do anything else!" Before Sam could even reply Dean had fled the room.

Sam sat there in shock for what seemed like hours. Finally, he slowly seemed to come out of it and soon his curiosity got the better of him. He looked down his shirt. "Wow... that's a big rack."

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note – Le gasp! Is this an update?! Why, yes! It is! Sorry for the super shortness… and the super lateness.

**All the Girls Love Sam**

Sam stared at herself critically in the mirror.

She was definitely female now, but strangely enough she didn't look that much different than she normally did. She had shrunk a few inches, but she was still very tall. At least, for a girl. What was she? 5'9? 5'10? Somewhere around there. She hadn't sprouted a super long haircut or anything; her hair looked exactly the same. Although, to her disappointment, it made her look a little butch. Sam didn't like to admit it, but she (formally he) could be just as vain and body conscious as Dean. Sam may not have asked to be turned into a girl, but as long as she was stuck like this she might as well be a damn pretty one. Thankfully, Sam had found an old baseball cap in Dean's suitcase and, seeing the bits of hair sticking out underneath it, it made her look decent, if not a little cute.

All in all, not that much different. Oh, except for the giant rack.

A sudden knock was heard on the bathroom door.

"Sam?" Dean's voice called out from the other side. It sounded a little panicky and even a little meek. "Are you all better?"

"No." Sam called back and then winced. It was official. Her girl voice was _annoying_.

Sam sighed as she opened the door and braced herself for Dean's reaction. Dean blinked as he came face to face with the new Sam Winchester.

"Are you wearing my clothes?" Dean asked incredulously.

Sam glared. "I have to. Mine are way too long on me now."

"Yeah, but what if whatever happened to you rubs off on them? And the next time I put them on, I turn into a girl?"

Sam's glare darkened into an expression of pure fury.

Dean snorted at his brother/sister's expression. It hadn't been intimidating when Sam was a boy, much less now that she was a girl. "I'm burning them the moment we fix this." Dean stated defiantly.

"I did a little research while you were gone." Sam tried to keep the hurt out of her voice at remembering how Dean had abandoned her earlier that morning. "I haven't been able to find a lot of information on spontaneous sex-changing. The most likely explanation is a spell of some kind. Like, as a form of vengeance?"

"What about the demon?" Dean asked. "Could it be behind… this?" Dean gestured to Sam's current body.

"I don't know of any demons whose modus operandi is changing the sex of their victims. What would be the point anyway?"

"Maybe girls taste better?" Dean contributed.

Sam decided to ignore her brother's less-than-helpful comment. "Besides the only demon activity around here is the one that's been devouring those men. Now, if I had changed from female to male, that might make a little sense…"

"Speaking of our mystery demon, another guy has gone missing." Dean stated.

Sam tilted her head to look at Dean fully. It was not a position she liked very much. "No body?"

Dean shook his head. "Not yet, the cops are still searching. That brings the number of victims to at least eight. I still don't have any idea about what could be behind this."

Sam sighed. She felt like the answer was slipping farther and farther from their grasps. "Well, at least we can add another 'clue' to the list of things we _do_ know."

Dean gave his sibling a long, hard look. "That's probably the only good thing to come out of all this."

"Well, you're taller than me now. So, that's two good things for you." Sam helpfully supplied.

"If you weren't a girl, I'd punch you in the face." Dean growled back.


	3. Chapter 3

**All the Girls Love Sam**

Sam scowled as she leaned heavily against the passenger door of the Impala. She and Dean had learned that the latest guy to disappear had been camping in the woods with his friend. It had taken them a while, but they were finally able to track this friend down. Of course, Dean had left Sam with the car while he went inside to play FBI detective. Sam had complained about it – loudly – but Dean had refused to allow her to buy any clothing that would be appropriate for a female FBI agent. Dean had said that they needed to stretch their money as far as they could, but Sam was pretty sure it was because he wasn't too keen on the idea of going bra-shopping for his former brother's new giant rack. Sam made a face. To be honest, _she_ wasn't looking forward to it either.

Sam stood up when she saw the guy that Dean had gone in to talk to escorting her brother out. It had barely been five minutes.

"Look, I'm sorry." The guy was saying. "I'd really like to help, but I just… I just can't, alright?"

Dean whirled around to face him. Sam could see the anger in his face. "You're interfering with an investigation! I could have you locked up!" He was getting desperate. They needed information.

"You do what you have to do." The guy said. But this time his tone was quieter. His gaze had shifted from Dean to Sam.

It took Sam a minute to realize that he wasn't looking at her face. She flushed angrily before yanking Dean's leather jacket across the black tank top she had thrown on, effectively blocking her chest from view. Stupid rack. She knew she should have made Dean give her money for a bra.

Sam wasn't the only one to notice that her rack was proving to be quite a distraction. Dean did a double take between the two of them. A decidedly evil smirk crossed his face. Sam hated that smirk.

"Look, if you feel the need to talk about anything at all, here's my number." Dean said, pulling out a card. The anger seemed to have dissipated and there was nothing left but the smarminess that Dean usually used on girls and people they were trying to interview. "We'll keep in touch." Dean smiled in a way that made it clear it was both a promise and a threat before walking toward the car.

The siblings got in before driving off. Sam narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Dean was still smirking. "What have you got planned?"

"We're going shopping. We're getting you a bra. A push-up one… and a really short skirt." He grinned at her.

Sam's brain felt like it was being short-circuited. "Why?!" She demanded. "You are _not_ thinking of parading me about just to get information, are you?!"

Dean actually had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Look, the guy isn't talking and I can't actually arrest him, but he seemed interested in talking to _you_."

"He seemed interested in my girl bits, Dean." Sam deadpanned.

"Well, you know what? Sometimes hunting is about doing things you don't want to do. Your new 'girl parts' can save this entire hunt. Use your girl parts, Sam! Use them for the good of humanity!" Dean exclaimed and Sam could tell that he was holding back from laughing at _her_ expense. "Look, all you have to do is talk to him. That's it. Worse things have happened during a hunt."

That was true, but Sam was still plotting her brother's slow, horrible death.


End file.
